We Have Some Really Stupid Ideas
by N.D. Stark
Summary: Tony is the center of stupid when it comes to him and Clint, sometimes accompanied by Bruce. Sometimes it is sneaking into someone's office and playing a dirty trick. Other times its a machine they don't know how to use. And sometimes, it's stranding themselves in some though situations. Laugh along with out heroes on their adventures of stupid!
1. Nick Feathery

**HEWO MA PEOPLE. **

**I wanted to do this, mainly Clint and Tony doing stupid things, and occasionally Tony doing stupid things with Bruce. Like stranding their teammates in some really remote places. Or going into people's offices. Or inventing things they don't know how to work...****I'm getting carried away! Gosh! In the comments you can suggest things, and feel free to do so. **

**PEACE OUT MA FANS**

* * *

**Nick Feathery**

* * *

Tony crawled through the hot air vent behind Clint, who was very far ahead. Tony could hardly breathe, and kept bumping into the walls of the vent; making Clint turn around and shush him while Tony pathetically rubbed his head. They both had bottles of gorilla glue and bags of feathers strapped to their backs, like commandos on a secret mission. Technically it was supposed to be a secret mission; but the noise Tony was making didn't help the fact much.

"Are we there yet?" Tony whined, bumping his head for the seventh time.

"I think." Clint answered, earning a glare.

"You don't even know where his office is!?" Tony whispered loudly as he hit his shoulder on the wall.

"Um... no..." Clint answered, peering through the nearest vent.

Clint kept crawling, Tony rubbing his sore head. After a lot of clattering and complaining; Clint pried open a vent and slipped easily out. Tony groaned, grazing his back on the ridge of the grill and doing a faceplant on the floor. The vent was about two feet in the air, which Tony had misjudged. Clint burst into a silent laughter.

"Not funny." Tony growled.

Clint stopped laughing, but still giggled silently. They both looked around the room; which wasn't as big as they had expected. On the far wall was a desk, covered with papers, a computer barely audible under the stacks of reports and files. There was a small window on another wall, two fold out chairs in the middle of the room. On the wall was a picture of himself, which they found ironic.

"Hey Clint." Tony said, ushering him over.

Tony proudly picked up a bottle of lotion, an evil grin on his face. Clint shrugged, and continued to search the room. Tony emptied the bottle of lotion into a nearby trash can, refilling it with it with the glue. Clint found a small closet, and opened it to find coats. Lots and lots of Nick Fury's coats. Clint quickly stuffed the sleeves full of feathers, as well as a pair of boots he found by the desk. No sooner than they finished they heard footsteps outside the door, and quickly escaped into the vents.

~~~(Pretty Page Break)~~~~

"RRRRRAA_AAAAHHHGGG!" _

An angry yell echoed through the Helicarrier. Agents rushed to Nick Fury's office, only to find the door was locked. One of them quickly kicked down the door to see a pair of feet escaping into the vent and a very feathery Nick Fury.

"BRING ME STARK AND BARTON!" Nick bellowed, but was only answered by a chorus of laughter.


	2. Thor and His Hair

**Hi guys! I will take recommendations! Yay!**

**Thor and His Hair. **

* * *

Clint smiled cruelly as he went through Thor's soap. Unsurprisingly, Thor had a lot of soap. Clint had smashed a whole bunch of bananas, oranges, blueberries, and who knows what else, and threw them all into a heterogeneous mixture. And Clint was planning to mix his mixture in with Thor's conditioner.

Clint finally found the bottle, and dumped half of the soap into his bowl of fruity massacre, and then poured the rest down the drain. Then he took his wooden spoon and stirred the orange substance into his batter. When Clint was finally satisfied, he poured it into the formerly empty bottle of conditioner, and into a regular soap container for good measure. He then stepping silently out of the shower, confident he had left no traces of his trick behind. It was a good thing there where no camera's in the bathrooms, otherwise, Clint would have had to spray paint over them. Clint finally pushed his fruit mix into the air vent, and slid silently in behind it. He finished by reattaching the vent cover.

* * *

That morning, Tony found Clint on the couch, eating his mix by the spoonful.

"First of all, what is in that, and second of all, what did you do?" Tony asked, joining his partner in crime on the couch.

"Two bananas, three oranges, a box of blueberries, some raspberries, like five strawberries, two pears, a tomato, ketchup, nacho cheese, and a few strips of bacon." Clint answered, shoving another spoonful into his mouth.

"Gosh man! How do you _eat_ that!?" Tony exclaimed, jumping up from the couch in disgust.

"It's good when you try it!" Clint whined back. "Oh, and I changed out Thor's soap for my trail mix." Clint finished with another swig from his mix.

Tony forgot of his disgust, and sat down next to Clint again.

"Oooh this gonna be good..."

* * *

Soon, almost every one had assembled at the table (pun intended) and began to eat. Clint claimed he had already eaten, and was left alone on the couch with his bowl. Thor hadn't arrived yet, but no one worried much, because he was a late sleeper. Suddenly a very loud, teenage girlish scream echoed through the halls. Everyone could almost assume it was Thor, and rushed to his room. Clint and Tony stayed on the couch, awaiting Clint's doom. No sooner than the rest of the group had rushed away, Thor came screaming at Clint down the hall. Clint jumped up in surprise, and jumped to the nearest air vent, where he managed to disappear before Thor grabbed him.

"What midgaurdian substance have you put in my hair!?" Thor bellowed angrily.

"I call it the Sunrise Mix." Clint hollered from the vent. Then he vanished into the labyrinth.


	3. Visitors, Rafters and Dodgeball

**Yay! Chapter 3! More comic book characters through the next chapters! **

**Visitors, Rafters and Dodgeball**

* * *

"Who's Sam Wilson?" Clint asked numbly, perching himself on the couch while Tony wired something together and Steve was trying to explain.  
"He's a friend I met in D.C. Fury says he's going to be an Avenger; so he's coming to visit before he moves in." Steve sighed as Clint just twisted his face in confusion. "The guy with the red wings." He said pointedly.  
"Oh! Got that, yeah. Hey Tony?" Clint said, now forgetting what Steve had just told him.  
"What?" Tony asked, keenly focused on whatever he was doing.  
"Is that Parker kid coming over today?"  
"The spidery kid? Yeah. Pretty soon. Like five minutes actually. Why?"

Clint just chuckled evilly before crawling into the vents, the laugh dying with him as he went. Steve and Tony looked at each other. Tony shrugged while Steve tried to wipe the confused and worried look of his face.

Meanwhile, Clint crawled through the labyrinth he called his home. He soon came to a large shaft (the elevator shaft) and slid down the rope until he came to the roof of the elevator (he had looked up to see he didn't need to go higher). On the elevator sat a round concoction of sticks, pillows, fabric and just plain junk.

He pressed his ear onto the floor; hearing a young voice talking inside Clint grinned, his hand reaching for something in his 'nest'. He sighed when he found it was too far away and leaned over to grab it. It was a bag full of dodge balls of every color, some stolen from the gym, some stolen from a school (he totally forgot why he was there) and many other places. The elevator started pulling itself up slowly.

Clint wedged his fingers underneath the trap door in the top of the elevator, moving it slightly. He stopped when he heard the occupants starting to sound confused at the noise. Instead; Clint changed his mind closing the trap door and jumping into his shafts before the elevator slid by quietly. He still had the netted bag slung over his shoulder, and he followed his vents to the highest point in the 'meeting room' otherwise known as the family room. Clint slid into the rafters, easily balancing on the catwalks he had set up. Another nest sat between another two; and there he watched the elevator door; waiting for it to open.

The doors slid slowly open. A tall dark skinned man walked out, shaking hands with Steve and man hugging. This was Sam Wilson, otherwise known as the falcon. A crazy haired kid who reminded him of Mouth from the 'Goonies' came out of the elevator next, though his hair was not as taken care of. It actually looked like a bird's nest (pun intended). He greeted Tony, and then they both started geeking out over what he was making. Bruce and Natasha came out last, though they where oblivious to the meeting. Natasha said hello to Sam and that was about it; but Bruce joined his 'science brothers'.

_'If only Reed, McCoy, and Pym where here.' _Clint shuddered.

Thor exited from the hallway; and having never met either Peter or Sam he was introduced. Clint took his cue when Steve asked where he was. Clint sent a dodge ball flying straight into Steve's face. It nailed him perfectly, making him stumble back and turn red with embarrassment. Clint threw one at Tony, and then at Peter. He hit Tony perfectly; but Peter dodged and threw it back.

"Dodge ball fight!" Clint exclaimed, letting it rain dodge balls.

He hit Sam in the face as the room was infused with chaos and hollered; "Welcome to the Avengers wing man!"


	4. Art is Fun

**Art is Fun**

* * *

Steve wanted in.

He understood perfectly what a prank war was; and that Clint and Tony where having one. And that maybe Johnny Strom and Peter Parker where involved, and that unless you took action; you where a victim of the pranks.

So he did the best thing he could think of. He got his markers and went down into Tony's lab. He was guilty feeling; though he was having fun. He had found the closest thing - an Iron Man helmet - and drawn on it. So far he'd made it look like there was make up, lip stick, eyelashes, and flowers. Flowers _everywhere_. Steve stood back and looked at it. He added the finishing touch of a Stark looking mustache and goatee.

"What are you doing?"

Clint jumped nearly three feet into the air; his paranoia getting the better side of him.

"What are you doing?" Clint asked again, smirking from his spot in the vents.  
"I uh... Um.. ugh..." Steve stuttered, pink pen still in hand.

Clint jumped behind Steve; and at the sight of the helmet; burst into a fit of laughter.

Steve smiled. "What are _you _doing?"

"I made confetti. And flowers. And..." Clint went on and on.  
"Spread it everywhere." Steve grinned, having the most fun in his life.

Clint complied, just as Tony came in. He froze eyes wide and mouth gaping.

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" Clint dropped his bag and threw his hands in the air before running to his vent.

Steve ran for the opposite wall as Tony roared in anger.


	5. Spidey's Spider

**Spidey's Spider**

* * *

Tony yawned, his mind wondering to far off places as he sat on the couch watching TV, his arms crossed and legs propped up. The light outside was fading quickly in a mix of reds and pinks, which was uncommon for New York; at least Tony thought. His thoughts twisted and reshaped themselves into Iron Man armor, a new bow for Clint, a new gun for Natasha. He remembered that Peter Parker was going to stay the night for the next few days.  
Why was it Spider-man? Tony wondered.  
Why not arachnid? That sounded cooler.  
How did he get his 'abilities'? Tony hadn't bothered to ask.  
Did Spider-man mean that Peter actually liked spiders?

A smirk grew on Tony's face.

Was Spider-man afraid of spiders?

In his head, Tony pulled together the plans for an experiment. To him it looks pretty well put together, but on the sheet of paper it looked more like a two year old's first drawing. Stick figures and arrows flew everywhere on the sheet, in the center a black dot with eight sharp lines jetting out from the sides.  
"Whatcha doing?"  
Tony jumped, yelping in surprise. He whirled around to see Bruce grinning, looking over his shoulder.  
He sighed, scratching his forehead. "I want to see if Parker's afraid of spiders."  
"Why?"  
"To prank him."  
"That's not nice." Bruce muttered.  
"Doesn't matter if it's not nice, only matters if we get entertainment and it plays well on YouTube."

Bruce sighed, rolling his eyes and smiling. "I guess I'm in too."  
Tony whooped, jumping from the couch. "Come on Bruce, lets go get ourselves a nice big Spider!"

**oOoOo**

**(Insert deep cheesy voice or a Deadpool here)  
Twenty Minutes Later... **

"Okay, now I'm doubting this..." Bruce muttered, glancing about the daunting hallway of the Sanctum Sanctorum.  
"I wouldn't worry, my friend, a good trick is always good for the soul." Bruce sighed as Stephen Strange said this, losing any hope of getting support to not prank the poor teenager from the usually very mannered and capable man.

"So, we came to you to look for a spider, like a big one. Maybe not magical, or man sized, like-"  
"A tarantula?"  
"That'd work."  
"Don't worry, I have plenty of those."  
"Cool-beans!"  
Stephen laughed.  
"I guess."

**oOoOo**

**Twenty minutes later, back at Stark Tower...**

"Dude, really?" Clint exclaimed, snatching the edge of the large(ish, more like coffee pot sized) crate from Tony. "It's huge!"  
"Exactly!"  
"Guys, I dunno, maybe tomorrow night? He's really tired..."  
"Shut up Bruce, just watch; it'll be hilarious!" Tony snickered quietly.  
"Okay..." Bruce frowned. "If you say so."  
"Clint, operations are to you, take it, release it, and report back here in five minutes." Tony whispered to Clint, who did a mock salute, walking away with the crate, the spider waving.  
"It wasn't supposed to be magic."  
"Meh, I bet it's fine."

Clint grinned evilly, almost mocking a Loki like face as he jumped up into the vents, pushing the crate ahead of him.  
_SSSSSSSCCCCCCCcccccccccrrrrrrrr!_

Clint grimaced at the scraping sound the crate made against the aluminum floor. But, he tread on, trying to suppress in evil laugh. He stopped as soon as he passed the vent into Natasha's room. The lights were dull meaning she was on her phone or something. But Peter's room was dark. He quietly opened the vent, cracking open the spider's crate large enough for him to squeeze it out. It climbed across the wall, then on top of Peter, who was spread eagled and snoring on the bed, still in his Spider-man uniform. The spider then promptly sat down and did not move whatsoever.  
Clint left the crate in the vent to take to his elevator nest later, closing the vent cover and slipping back out to the one in the hallway. He spotted Tony at the counter, Bruce stalking away with his coffee.  
"Reporting for duty sir!"  
Tony gargled his coffee, a bit spilling over the edge.  
"Jeez, Barton."  
"Mission successful. Actually, it's sitting on top of him."

Tony grinned. "Shall we watch?"

**oOoOo**

**Three hours later... (1:00 - 1:01)**

Tony yawned stretching. He glanced back up at the hologram screen, which was still playing the exact same footage as before. He sighed, reaching to his now cold coffee, stepping over Clint and walking to the microwave to heat it up. He yawned again. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a shrill, high-pitched scream.

_"GAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh!"_

Clint's head popped up, a grin growing on his face. "Mwahhahaaa!"  
He raced to the guest room, Tony in close quarters behind him. As they ran through the hallway, Natasha and Steve both came out of their rooms, following the two men.  
"What happened?"  
"Was that Peter?"

Clint simply walked to the door, a finger over his mouth. He cracked it open to see Peter no longer on the bed, the spider moving it's arms at the ceiling.  
_(Spider) "Master! Master!" _

"Get away!" Clint looked up in shock (at the talking spider) to see Peter on the ceiling, white as a sheet.  
"It's a talking spider." Tony muttered.  
"Yup."

_"Please come down master!" _


	6. Goodbye

**A NOTE TO MY READERS!**

**I am so sorry I haven't been on here lately! School and family got in the way, and I've decided not to write for a while. I'm in so many Fandoms I can't keep track of them! Anyway, if you still want more from me, I did one last collaboration with WeLiedAboutTheCookies. I don't know if you know what Hetalia is, but it's pretty much a dark post WW2 fanfic by the name of 'Defeated' for the Hetalia fandom. **

**I'm so sorry I won't be writing anymore. But WeLiedAboutTheCookies is now taking all of my big stories, like Simply Incapacitate, Voids: Rise of Mechaa (which may have a different title), and Different. I really hope you check them out, and give them a ton of support in their growing writing skills (because they just awesome!) and for now, goodbye. :) I'll miss you guys. **


End file.
